The Decision

So I've decided against locing my hair for now. The cost (time and money) is too high for me currently. During my consultation the trichologist recommended cutting most of my hair off and starting fresh. I suggested doing gradual cuts but she said I would get the most benefit from cutting it all off at the same time. I bought some of the hair products she makes. After a lot of thinking over the weekend I called her and made an appointment for the 17th to cut it off. At the end of the day, I want my hair to be healthy over long. I know this time around I want to commit to regular trims and do natural protein and moisture treatments. I also want to be just healthier overall by drinking more water, exercising regularly, and watching my diet. My biggest concern is what's preventing the same the issues I've been having from happening again after it's cut off. My hair care regimens have improved through research over the years, but what if that's not enough? What it's due to something beyond my control like hard water? 1 Peter 5:7 tells me to cast my anxieties on my Creator, because He cares for me. I am cutting my hair in faith that it will grow back healthier than it has ever been. But long or short, He loves me just as I am.

This is hard for me to deal with because cutting off my hair seems counterproductive to growing it longer. I remember wanting my hair to be long for most of my life. I guess I associated long (and straight before I went natural) hair with femininity. I need to let go of that. Biblical femininity does not have to do with external things like looks, or preferences like loving pink. It deals with the heart, having a gentle and quiet spirit. (1st Peter 3:4). What pleases Him the most is what's on the inside. And if that's good enough for God, then it should be good enough for me. In fact, God told Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." when he was looking for the next king.  That's something I really love about God. His standards never change, while culture might like bell bottoms one day and skinny jeans the next. I would drive myself crazy trying to keep up with and please the world. When my hair was short in the past I felt unattractive, and feeling that way probably made me seem more that way than how I actually looked. I am going to try to be more confident this time around.Who knows, maybe I will get hooked on the low maintenance and want to keep it short!

Contemplating A Change

I stopped getting perms put in my hair around March 2008 and cut off all my permed hair in August that year. Honestly it has been pretty challenging, especially when I did not have that much length. This was due to many reasons, including my lack of styling knowledge. I barely know how to do things such as cornrow, not for lack of trying. I even bought a mannequin head to practice styles on. However the mannequin has straight hair, and my hair texture is anything but that. I struggle with single strand knots and massive detangling issues even when I moisturize, seal, and twist my hair every night.

I began to wonder why God gave me this hair texture. Every day I see women of other races who effortlessly have great looking hair. Their hair is naturally straight so they've never had to deal with things I go through. Just to get my hair trimmed it needs to be blown out and I risk getting heat damage. I try to remember Romans 9:20, "But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?', but it doesn't seem fair at times. I have tried many different things and spent a lot of money trying to get my hair to just be healthy.  I've learned about hair pH balance, protein/moisture balance, porosity, and so on. I've tried to apply this research to my hair regimen and have seen some improvements, but then there are things out of my hands such as hard water and my low iron count that might be contributing to my issues. I don't want to make my hair an idol. I've been doing a lot of research on Sisterlocks (tiny uniform locks that are the result of a precision parting grid, and the use a specialized tool used to place the hair into its locking formation) and think they might be a good option for me. I only know two women with Sisterlocks but there are a plethora of women who have blogs and youtube channels about them. I get excited at the thought of never having to deal with straightening my hair again or putting in fake hair. Being thinner and lighter than traditional locks, they would put the least amount of stress on my scalp. I am giving myself time to think about it because they are a big investment. I will also not do them until I am debt free and have saved up money for them. My last car payment should be in early July. Ideally, if I decide on them, it would be between August and December this year. 

I have an appointment this upcoming week with a trichologist. I've had a lot of breakage in certain areas an only wear my hair in buns to try to prevent further damage and cover the breakage. I will tell her I am thinking about Sisterlocking and get her opinion. I will also have to decide if I want her to cut my hair to reduce the cost of installing the sisterlocks. My hair stretches past my armpits but due to natural shrinkage it never looks close to that. I pray God leads me in the right direction.

Sisterlock Pros

• No detangling/ single strand knots
• Easier styling
• Easier regimen
• No bad hair days
• Don't have to worry about exercise/rain/etc

Sisterlock Cons

• Costs
• I will have to rely on someone else to maintain my hair on 6-8 week schedule (can take several hours) unless I learn how to retighten my hair myself. I probably wouldn't do this until I've had them in for at least two years. However I don't think I would mind this because it takes me about 7 hours to do my hair on wash day before styling.
• Not sure how it will be perceived in the office.
• I live in a small city that's in-between two larger cities where Sisterlock consultants are located. I will have somewhat of a commute to get my hair maintained (Update: I found a consultant in my county who is about 15 miles closer to me)