The Decision

So I've decided against locing my hair for now. The cost (time and money) is too high for me currently. During my consultation the trichologist recommended cutting most of my hair off and starting fresh. I suggested doing gradual cuts but she said I would get the most benefit from cutting it all off at the same time. I bought some of the hair products she makes. After a lot of thinking over the weekend I called her and made an appointment for the 17th to cut it off. At the end of the day, I want my hair to be healthy over long. I know this time around I want to commit to regular trims and do natural protein and moisture treatments. I also want to be just healthier overall by drinking more water, exercising regularly, and watching my diet. My biggest concern is what's preventing the same the issues I've been having from happening again after it's cut off. My hair care regimens have improved through research over the years, but what if that's not enough? What it's due to something beyond my control like hard water? 1 Peter 5:7 tells me to cast my anxieties on my Creator, because He cares for me. I am cutting my hair in faith that it will grow back healthier than it has ever been. But long or short, He loves me just as I am.

This is hard for me to deal with because cutting off my hair seems counterproductive to growing it longer. I remember wanting my hair to be long for most of my life. I guess I associated long (and straight before I went natural) hair with femininity. I need to let go of that. Biblical femininity does not have to do with external things like looks, or preferences like loving pink. It deals with the heart, having a gentle and quiet spirit. (1st Peter 3:4). What pleases Him the most is what's on the inside. And if that's good enough for God, then it should be good enough for me. In fact, God told Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." when he was looking for the next king.  That's something I really love about God. His standards never change, while culture might like bell bottoms one day and skinny jeans the next. I would drive myself crazy trying to keep up with and please the world. When my hair was short in the past I felt unattractive, and feeling that way probably made me seem more that way than how I actually looked. I am going to try to be more confident this time around.Who knows, maybe I will get hooked on the low maintenance and want to keep it short!